Never Lose Focus
by youkeptmewaiting
Summary: First fanfic. Takes place during Eclipse. Someting's bothering Alice and Jasper as well. They both try to hide things from each other..  I guess I suck at summaries, why not click and read instead? Have no clue about the rating so it is to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

_Takes place during Eclipse, I think you'll figure out exactly when as you read it. Sorry for grammar, I'm Swedish. Please review even if you didn't like it, I'm interested in all opinions. And please don't say just "bad grammar", correct me :) Noticed that it looked a little messy, I'll try to fix that to the next chapter. It's already existing, just don't want to upload until someone reviews (a)_

**Alice POV**

"Why are you scared love?" he caressed my hair. Damn! I sighed, he had recognized the split second of horror that had crossed my mind when I by mistake let the vision slide trough my thoughts.

"I'm not scared" I refused and put a soft kiss on his cheek "only over what Bella will say when I tell her about my party plans" He laughed,

"Well, I guess that's a good reason" Suddenly I heard the others coming outside and apparently he did too as we, with me still in his arms, raised from the stairs in one motion.

"You really missed something!" Emmett said and without giving that he's totally drowned in mud and leafs a thought he sat down on the big white couch.

For him to be that messed up it must have been a good hunt. We were supposed to be joining them but then suddenly Jasper didn't want to anymore, "Just not in the mood" he had said. It was a strange answer for being Jasper, he usually was the one who, after Emmett, were the most eager to hunt. But as that was what he wanted we didn't join. I don't like to leave him alone, especially when.. oh crap Edward. I changed train of thoughts immediately and looked at my mothers' disturbed smile looking at the now quite brown couch.

"I'll buy you a new one" Emmett said, sharing my thought and Esme smiled.

"No need" she said and sat down beside him "I was tired of this one anyway"

Suddenly my loves arms tighten around me,

"What is it?" I asked.

"I feel _them_" he said, he had never been comfortable with the werewolves, but then he relaxed a bit "it's.. um.. just Jacob, I guess he has Bella with him" he said and gave Edward a meaning look. He nodded and disappeared outside again.

"How did you know it was Jacob?" I asked curiously. I knew a lot about his gift since we've been together.. well, forever. But I'd never heard him feeling a special person coming.

"I felt lust" he said with a slight smile and Emmett burst out in laughter,

"Imagine Edwards face" he said when he'd calmed down a bit.

"When?" Bella and Edward came trough the door and she looked curiously at Emmett who just laughed even more.

"Funny" Edward said and we exchanged a glance. I have to be better at blocking thoughts.. He smiled, he had heard that one to, obviously. Then he turned away to look at Bella again but suddenly stopped,

"You've seen that?" he asked and looked worried at me. _What? I didn't even think about it?_

"Busted" he simply said and I sighed "if you're bad at blocking the effect is reverse, it's like you're screaming it" he explained.  
"What did you see?" Jasper played with his fingers down my arm but stopped and started to look worried when I couldn't find a good answer "Love?"

"Eleazar getting hurt" I lied. _Shut up!_ I told Edward who looked like he's about to say something. Surprisingly he did as I told him.

"What? How?" I met my fathers' glance who's full of concern and I desperately tried to come up with something that wouldn't make him call or go over there.

"It's nothing serious Carlisle" Edward softly said "it was me reading wrong"

"So, maybe you should stop reading my visions?" I glared at him and he shrugged,

"Maybe" and started to play with Bellas hair.

"So, no need to hear if they need some help?" Carlisle asked and both Edward and I shook our heads.

"Jazz, Edward, wanna play some videogames?" Emmett asked from the couch as if he was totally unconcerned about the conversation that had been going on, he probably was. I watched Edward exchange a glance with Jazz but he shook his head,

"Not now, I think I want to spend some quality-time with my favourite person in the world" he held me tighter towards his muscular torso, I turned around and we kissed.

"Even more?" Emmett raised an eyebrow teasing Jasper.

"Yea, maybe you should consider it sometime" he teased back looking amused when Rosalie glared at Emmett saying that she also thought so with just the glance. The whole room laughed.

"Coming love?" he took my hand and we went upstairs. He threw himself on the bed but without making any sound at all. Then he grabbed my hand and dragged me towards him until I landed beside him.

"Beds still fill a purpose" he said and began to kiss me everywhere he could reach. I laid my arms around him and we started rolling around on the bed, now definitely not soundlessly, while the air was vibrating of passion and love.

"I love you" I breathed when we ultimately stopped and I lay beside him with my head on his torso. If he were human I should have heard his heartbeats. But it was like I heard them anyway, in his beautiful eyes and his arms softly hugging me.

"I love you too" he said with a big smile and started to play with a strand of my hair.

I let my thumb caress his arm and slowly moved it over the scars. I felt the shape of them, the shape of so much pain. I've never been bitten myself except for when I got changed but that's all I remember of being changed, the pain. More excruciating than anything, it's like you'd rather die. My thumb went rollercoaster on the ups-and-downs on his arm, they were so many, and everyone must have hurt like that. My Jazz, my beloved husband hurting, just the thought gave me chills. And there were the other one, not shaped like the others. The werewolf bite.

The night he got it was still fresh in my mind though it was weeks ago now. We'd been hunting Victoria down the border with the werewolves and then Emmett had crossed it in an eager moment to end her. Of course the younger of the wolves' went crazy and Jazz, being as overprotective as he is, he had gone to Emmett's defence.

The rest had happened so quickly that anyone barely understood what happened. One second the tiny snow white wolf was coming from nowhere and the next Jazz was kneeling on the ground in pain. It was strange.. I'd seen the wolf pack several times now, but never that one. Without thinking about it I had begun following the shape of the bite up and down with my thumb. Remembering that night always made me feel bad. Even though the bite was almost healed when we got back at the house I couldn't get the image of him overwhelmed with pain off my mind.

"Darlin' what's scaring you?" he grabbed my cheek and put my face against his "what is wrong?"

"I don't want you to get hurt" I said moving my hand from his arm to his cheek. It was absolutely true so no one could blame me for lying even though I had a special reason to worry right now.

"You shouldn't worry" he said, kissing me gently on my forehead "everyone's going to be fine. Besides, why worry already?" I wish I could tell you, I thought. But the only thing that would change if I told him was that he should feel bad about my worry, he would never stay away from the battle. It was ridiculous, they were all so thrilled. Both he and Emmett were preparing as if it was some sort of Olympics or something. I may have thought it was cute if I hadn't seen.. I couldn't ever think the words at first,  
**If I hadn't seen Jasper get killed.**


	2. Chapter 2

_And I thought the first chapter were long.. didn't look that way on the site. Anyway, this is shorter because of the simple reason that I __were just writing and thought that the last sentence fit as an ending. Thanks for the reviews (haha "guesswho") and enjoy!  
__Next one will be longer, promise._

**Jaspers POV**

I switched channel on the TV, as if it would take away my boredom. I hated this time of the day, when Alice was in school. Emmett had taken my advice from yesterday so I hadn't seen him or Rose all day. Carlisle was at work and Esme.. I could feel her in the kitchen. Worried, probably over the battle. I could feel Em and Rose too, but those feelings I tried to block. It was strange, it was like I'd been feeling everything so much more recently. At first I thought it was just my imagination but especially since yesterday I was sure it wasn't. The way I had felt Jacob, it was like it was my own feeling. What if I couldn't sort out what were others and what was my own?

Now Esme changed from worried to negligently calm. It pleased me, softened the headache that I'd started having a lot recently a bit. That was strange too, but it probably was the same thing as when Alice got them when the wolves were around. It still worried me though, but not as much as what had been the topic in the bed last night. My wifeys worry. She knew something I didn't and Edward had found out too when we spoke in the living room. What would she possibly hide from me? We shared everything, even the most horrible things and that made it even scarier.

"Jasper?" I abruptly got ripped away from my thoughts and felt my mothers concern. I hadn't noticed her and tried to neutralise my thoughts and glance before looking at her.

"Yes?" I asked as she sat down gently beside me.

"Are you okey hon'?" she softly laid her arm round my shoulders almost questioningly as if would shake it of off me.

"I'm fine" I said "just little worn out" She gave me a glance as if she was trying to see if I lied or not but seemed to be happy with that answer as she said,

"Okey, let me know if I can do anything" she smiled "promise me son?" I nodded, knowing that it was a straight up lie and returned the smile. I shouldn't let her know, I knew myself enough to be certain about that. I hated to be in the centre, especially if it was because I was feeling bad. "If you show them you're weak, then you're dead", Marias words, they were still like a tattoo on my soul and would probably always be. Then it was about not showing my enemies, now it was my family and I knew it was different. Still, I couldn't do it.

"What's bothering you?" Esme started rubbing my shoulder with her thumb.

"Nothing, really" I smiled again, less forced now as all the love she was feeling made me feel better "I promise" I added as she didn't looked too convinced. But then suddenly my attention got drawn to something else, I felt desire, I felt her. I was on my feet as she and Edward, who had Bella with him, came trough the door. She danced nattily the maybe two meters too me and we hugged. She held me tight, and I gave her hair a soft kiss.

"I've missed you" she said as we sat down on the couch with Esme.

"You kept me waiting" I said with a smile and she laughed,

"That's my line!" I laughed too. Everything was so much easier when she were around, how could one person take away all my bad feelings and worries by just existing? I guessed that it was, and always will be, the mystery of love.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks for the reviews :) Here comes chapter three, enjoy!_

**Alice POV**

"It's insane Alice!" Bella stared at me "you can't throw a party, not with everything else going on!"

"You would have let me if there was no battle?" I asked and raised a doubting eyebrow.

"Maybe not.. but still.. " the look on her face was quite amusing, how could anyone feel horror over a party? "Why?" she ended her sentence.

"Cause it'll be fun!" I said and smiled "graduation is a big deal Bella"  
"Well, not to you and.. I don't care" she turned away from me like an obstinate child.

"You will do" I said "I _know_ it" I added and laughed at her face expression.

"This time your vision is wrong" she protested.

"I don't think so" I said and raised up from her bed "but I should be going, Edward's going to be here any minute now" that last sentence seemed to calm her down a lot and to my surprise we actually hugged before I went down the stairs, waved goodbye to Charlie watching football as usual and then headed home.

"How did it go?" I was caught up in my loves arms as soon as I got through the door.

"As I expected" I said and both he and Emmett who was watching the news with my parents laughed. Then I caught up the sound from the television and so did Jasper as we both went closer to be able to see the screen.

"They must have got up in numbers" Emmett said with a big smile "this'll be the most fun we've had in years!" I rolled my eyes at my brother. To my surprise I didn't hear anything from Jazz but it was like he tensed a little. I wondered what he was feeling. Sometimes that empath-thing should be really nice to have..

"Is it bad? Jasper?" I was glad that Carlisle was the one asking and not me, Jazz hated my pity. He shrugged,

"I don't know" he said "probably not, just means that we need the wolves even more" the last he said with great reluctance. Carlisle looked concerned at him and I watched his glance slide too Jaspers arm.

"I'm fine" Jazz defended himself before Carlisle even said a word.

"I know" Carlisle tried to soften him by leaving the subject. Always that overprotective, so much that he'd rather not talk about it than upset one of us.

I met Jaspers glance in a desperate try to tell what he was thinking but without any result. Though, I noticed something, his eyes were nearly black.

"You're starving" I said "wanna go hunting?" he didn't answer immediately, seemed to think about it.

"Can I join?" Emmett look thrilled at me and I smiled,

"Sure" then turned to Jazz "what about you love?" I turned on my puppy eyes and started to slowly caress his arm.

"I guess" he said and I smiled. I was pleased over that I succeeded to persuade him but still worried about his doubt to do it. Why wouldn't he want to? And almost as important, why wouldn't he tell me why?

"Come on, let's go!" Emmett was already at the door eagerly waiting for us.

I sank my teeth trough the deers' soft skin and found a great vain. The blood was tasty, pure without any of that strange aftertaste that often were there depending on what the animal had been eating. I was hungry since we'd missed the last hunt at drank all of the deer and then had another one. Then I went searching for my brothers. Emmett wasn't hard to find, he'd never been the quite type, but I didn't see Jazz anywhere. He'd probably just went a little longer to find bigger animals but I had a strange feeling..

"Hey, Em!" I caught his attention when he was sneaking up on a cougar and he glared at me as it ran away but I didn't care "have you seen Jazz?" I asked.

"Not since I got my eyes on that cougar.. " he said acting sulky and I rolled my eyes at him.

"I'm so sorry" I said without meaning it at all "but I can't find him"

"Then let's search" Emmett must finally had realised how worried I was "we go opposite directions"

We'd been searching the woods for I don't know how long now. Emmett had suggested that we'd go home and talk to the others and then continue the next day but I had just shut him of. I refused to leave without Jasper and didn't care how long it would take to find him.

"Alice, seriously" Emmett came back after he'd checked the southern part one more time and laid his hand on my shoulder "we can't just go on for hours" I shook it off,

"Hadn't you if it had been Rosalie?" I asked.

"No, and now I'm calling Carlisle" he took up his cell. I had called on Jaspers like a hundred times but then I remembered, he never had it with him we he hunted. That was extremely stupid of him and I didn't know why, it was just one of his old battle manners I guessed. Anyway I should personally check that he had it with him every time we'd go hunting from now. If I'd see him again.. of course I will! I forced myself to think. With that thought in mind I decided that going home was not the same as giving up.

"Don't call" I took Emmetts' cell phone "we're going home"

The whole family was quiet and seemed down when we came through the door. I realised that Edward must have heard our thoughts and told the others. Esme rushed towards me and gave me a hug,

"He's coming back sweetie" she assured me but I just shook my head,

"You can't know that" I rested my head on her shoulder.

"Have you searched everywhere?" I heard Carlisle ask Emmett and he nodded.

"Alice" my father placed a gentle hand on my shoulder "have you seen.. something that might give us a clue?" I shook my head, let go of Esme and sat down on the stairs,

"Nothing"  
"Maybe now is the time to tell" Edward said looking seriously at me.

"They can't be connected" I said. How could they be? That was my only tiny hope right now. If my vision of him being killed were true, then he'd come back before the battle.

"You don't know that" he said "she's seen Jasper getting killed in the battle"

I tried my hardest to murder him with my glance as everyone else frightfully stared at me.


	4. Chapter 4

_Funny that the little text that stood up here before__ were about me writing a chapter for you before I went to Gothenburg July 31st. As you may have noticed, that didn't happen. Sorry for bad update but I've been having some busy weeks. Btw I noticed that it looks a lot better if you read it in ½ pages or what it's called. Enjoy! (And review!)_

**Jaspers POV**

I couldn't believe it. Every muscle in my body had frozen when I'd heard the voice. Sweet like sugar, scaring the hell out of me. The tiny wolf was all cuddled up in her arms and it was like the bite stung when I looked at it.

"Jasper Whitlock" Maria stroke the fur of the wolf and it started purring like a satisfied little kitten. I didn't answer, I wasn't able to speak at all. But I couldn't run away either, I wanted to know what she wanted and what was going on with the wolf.

"Answer me boy" she demanded but I didn't slip a word and was careful to not show any sort of emotion.

"I've missed you" she started to walk towards me and I tensed every muscle to not growl at her or back away. She stretched out her hand to caress my cheek but there had she crossed my line.

"I see you haven't missed me" she continued her monolog when I took a step back and turned my face from hers "well.. Chico" she caressed the wolf again. That awful little fur ball had a name? "why don't you show Major Whitlock just how much we've missed him?" the wolf graciously jumped out of her arms and started to walk towards me. Now I growled, it fixed its light blue eyes on me and suddenly I felt.. I didn't know what but a wave of emotions came shooting through me, making me feel dizzy and my head ache like it was going to explode. Without I even had noticed the wolf, I refused to call it anything but it, had ripped my hoodie and laid its paw on the bite. The pain was too much for me to handle and everything went black.

She was gone, so was the wolf. Where was I?

I opened my eyes and blinked at the sharp light. I was kneeling on the ground, my head hurt a little and so did the bite, though I felt okey. Where had they gone? Why had they left without.. doing something more to me? The questions I had were thousands and there were no answers at all. I looked around and realised I wasn't very far from home, this wasn't where I had met her. I had gone longer in to the woods after bigger animals and was many, many miles from here when she had found me. I slowly rose up, worried over whether I'd able to stand up or not. The trees tilted dangerously for a second but then I felt quite fine. I started to wonder if I should go home or not. My not-beating-heart screamed yes, it screamed for Alice. But they would attack me with questions and there'd be no words for Carlisle and Esmes pity. Suddenly something threw itself into my arms.

"Darling!" she hugged me and held me tight as if she was afraid I would disappear. I hugged her back and she kissed my cheek. She was here, my Alice, my beautiful wife. But how did they find me?

"She saw you, right after that I could hear you" Edward explained. Was my whole family here? They couldn't be, I should have felt them. I looked around as the fear started pumping through my body. They were all looking worried at me, Alice, Edward, Emmett, Rose, Carlisle and Esme, and I didn't feel any of them.

"What's wrong love? Where were you?" Alice carefully played with a strand of my hair and gave me the don't-lie-I-can-see-through-it-glance.

"Nothings wrong hon'" I lied anyway "I just got lost in the woods a little" she looked at me and sighed as if she hardly believed me and I couldn't blame her. We'd been hunting in these woods for years and everyone knew them perfectly. I should have lied better.. I recognised Edward nodding at me and sighed, _and I should have thought about not thinking it, please shut up?_ I shot back at him. He raised an eyebrow but remained quiet. Then I remembered,

"Where's Bella?" I asked Edward, she was with him when we left, where was she now? If Maria was still around..

"Home sleeping I think" he said "it's early morning Jazz, you've been out here for hours" Hours? How's that possible? It'd felt like at most one.

"Are you sure you're fine?" Esme looked at me, still concerned and I answered the same thing that I'd been answering the other like hundred times she or Carlisle had asked before,

"Yes, just a little tired" I knew she could see there was more but I lied anyway, like always. I couldn't tell, tell them that I was scared to death about what had happened. I'd thought about telling Alice but when she now sat cuddled up on my lap looking overjoyed that we were reunited I just didn't dare to worry her. My temples were pounding, it had been worse and worse for every hour. It was like feeling nothing was more painful than feeling too much. That was the thing that scared me the most, had the wolf taken away my ability to control emotions? Was that even possible? I wondered for a second if there were some kind of painkillers for vampires. Strangely enough I didn't know, I had never needed them.. or at least never admitted it. But now definitely was the time to do that, it was better letting Carlisle know than having a breakdown in front of all my family because that was the next step otherwise.

"Alice love, will you excuse me for a minute?" I asked and kissed her hair. She sat down beside me so I could stand up and I hurried away so she wouldn't ask me what I was going to do. But just that little hurry up the stairs was too much. I sled down the wall as the pain took over all my thoughts and closed my eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

_Long time no see. Sorry for that.__ Short chapter but I won't have time to write long ones now when school's begun and figured that it'd be more fun with short updates more often. Am I right? And, if you've read, feel guilty to review. _

**Carilsles POV**

I waited, actually quite curious of who would com. There wasn't often someone bothered me in my office. But minutes passed and no one came. I may have heard wrong, I thought, but I was sure that I'd heard someone coming up the stairs. I decided to go check, rose from behind my desk and opened the door.

He sat on the floor with his head resting on his knees and the curly blonde hair covering his face. I kneeled beside him, instantly knowing that something was wrong. When I got closer I realised that he was shaking, barely noticeable but definitely.

"Son" I didn't dare to touch him "what's wrong?" he stopped shaking and got tensed instead, raising his head a bit to look at me. A sudden stung of excruciating pain went through my body and I couldn't help but gasp.

"I'm sorry I.. I'm fine, just leave me alone" his voice was almost soundless. I just shook my head,

"You're not fine" I looked into his eyes filled with fear and pain "can you stand up?" he started to rise up and looked almost as surprised as I was when he actually could.

"Come here son" I led him into my office and closed the door "sit down!" I demanded as he looked like he was about to fall down on the floor. He did as I said and I sat down on the chair opposite his.

I looked at him, feeling guiltier then never before, I should have noticed earlier that he wasn't doing alright. Maybe I had but I should have asked him, seriously sat down and talked to him instead of just accepting the answer "I'm fine" when I knew it was a lie. But I also felt that it was he who should come to me, he was my son and that he didn't trust me for that hurt almost as much as now seeing him like this. He had been looking down the whole time but now he met my glance, intensely staring at me.

"Do you feel anything?" he asked and there was a tone in his voice as if he was quailing for my answer.

"A lot" I answered "concern for you Jazz" he closed his eyes as if the answer was torturing him and sighed,

"You shouldn't worry" he said "I've been causing too much trouble already" I instantly knew that he was thinking about Bellas birthday last year and felt a stung of sadness. It had been a bad idea from the beginning, I shouldn't have let Alice throw that party but I'd been almost as thrilled as her to get a new family member.

"You're not causing any trouble" I stared at him and begged that he would return my glance "Jasper, look at me" he slowly raised his head "you're my son, I love you and I care for you" his golden eyes looked doubtfully at me but he didn't contradict.

Suddenly another flash of excruciating pain filled up all my thoughts.

"I'm sorry" Jasper looked terrified at me. Was this his doing? The pain went away as quickly as it had started and I met my boys glance,

"Jasper, tell me what's wrong"

"I met Maria in the woods" he said slowly as if he was unsure about my reaction. I was stunned, Maria? I'd heard the story about her quite a few times. What was she doing here? Had she hurt Jazz?

"She had the wolf with her, the one that bit me" he continued "she talked and I didn't answer, then she commanded the wolf something I don't remember and then.. pain"

"Where does it hurt?" the doctor in me started examine instantly.

"My head" he said, looking down on his knees "I can't feel people anymore" the last sentence left a scary silence. What did he mean? Had he lost his gift? Was that even possible?

"Please, no questions" he said as if he was hearing my thoughts "it hurts, make it stop. If there's no way, then let me be and don't bother anyone, especially not Esme or Alice" I sighed, old solider-Jasper was back. But I was happy with the few minutes my son let me in and just gave him a package of aspirin.

"It'll take the edge off, but you have to go hunting and take them instantly after so they can spread in the blood" he nodded,

"Thank you" smiled, and disappeared.


	6. Chapter 6

_More to come! Another shorty. Thanks for the reviews and give me some more after this one._

**Jaspers POV**

Carlisle was right, it took the edge of. I had drunk two small deers and then swallowed more pills than the package recommended. But I felt that the instructions didn't really apply to me since I wasn't human. Now I was back sitting on the couch with Alice resting her head on my shoulder and the rest of my family spread out in the room. I had excused my absence with that I had talked to Carlisle about the battle and fortunately Alice seemed to believe me. It was still making me crazy sitting in a room full of people and feeling nothing but my own desperation. Carlisle gave me worried glances every now and then but I didn't return them and hoped that he would leave me alone as I had asked for. I hated myself for doing that to my father, even though my gift was gone I could feel his pain that I didn't let him help me. But I couldn't stand that, I'd been nothing but a burden to him and refused to let this go out over him or anyone of my family. It was my problem, I should deal with it.

"What are you thinking about darling?" Alice looked deep into my eyes and put her hand in mine.

"Of how much I love you" I said, because that's what she made me think even though I know she meant something else "more than anything in the world" she smiled,

"I love you too" I laid my arms around her and dragged her up on my lap so we sat face to face and we kissed. Her soft lips against mine made me forget the problem completely and all I felt was passion and love. Still just my own, but that was more than enough.

"Love-birds" Emmett teased when we stopped and Alice rested her head on my chest. I rolled my eyes at him,

"Always that caring about our love life" I said "it's cute" I instantly recognised the look on Emmett's face before he said the four words,

"You are so dead" I sighed, they meant go-out-in-our-garden-and-fight-me. I knew it wasn't just because of my comment, he liked the fighting and so did I. But now wasn't a really good time.. but on the other hand the aspirin did a pretty good job.

"Okey, come on!" I carefully kissed Alice hair before I got up. I felt Carlisle looking at me with his glance screaming "bad idea" but I just headed out.

He was already standing I position when I came out. He growled at me and I laughed and placed myself opposite him. Maybe it was a good thing I was a little weak I thought, then I might not have to pretend to lose just to please him. He came running towards me and I started to do the same. Just seconds later I was lying on the ground.

"Got ya!" Emmett said, more than satisfied "come on, again!" he was already back in position. I won the following two but it was a lot harder than it used to be and the third time he won without me not doing my best. I realised getting punched to the ground wasn't really the best treatment for my headache as the world got a little blurry in the edges when I rose up the fourth time.

"3-2, you won" I told Emmett.

"I guess I don't have to ask who won" Esme looked at her sons and laughed when we came through the door. Emmett's smile was huge,  
"I did!" he still told everyone and we all laughed, though I regretted it badly, surprised over that just that made my temples pound. The aspirin was already wearing off, I should have thought about that the impact lag shouldn't be long since the blood just ran through our veins for a short time. I felt Carlisle was searching for my attention and met his glance trying to say that everything is fine, at least under control.

"Jasper honey, are you alright?" it was my mother who asked. Why would she think I'm not? I thought for a centesimal but then I realised, now every little pill were out of my system. I uncontrollably fell to the ground seeing all my family's worried faces getting fuzzier and fuzzier until me head hit the floor.


	7. Chapter 7

_Long time no see but I just remembered this story again and the hiatus is now over if someone's still interested in reading this! I just saw Breaking Dawn Part 1 midnight showing yesterday and now I'm full of inspiration so, this is just a little taste of what to come. If you give me reviews I'll continue :) Sorry about the deleting and publishing mess, but now I hope I got i right._

**ALICE POV (though the first wordthing is going in inside Jasper's head)**

_Pain. Colors flashing. Voices echoing. More pain. Maria and the wolf. Voices. Flashes of the ending of Bella's birthday party. Confusion. Death. __**Embrace.**__ Pain. __**Alice.  
**_

"Jasper?" I shook him again as hard as I dared "oh spare me" I said as Edward was opening his mouth to say something. I already know what, that Jasper was going to wake up again when he was ready, Edward had told me a million times. A sudden grunting made me flinch and Carlisle, who had been sitting in the couch opposite the one where Jasper lay with his head resting in my lap, was on his feet and kneeling beside Jasper in a centesimal of a second.

"Son?" he called and to my relief Jasper slowly opened a golden eye. He blinked and then opened both of them, groaned and made an effort to sit up though both Carlisle and myself pushed him back down again.

"What happened baby?" I asked "where does it hurt?" he looked confused, like he wasn't sure either. His hand started to subconsciously rub the scar.

"It doesn't hurt" he said "I'm okey"

"I won't accept that answer anymore" Carlisle said, gaze pending between me and Jasper as if he was waiting for me to agree with him.

"But Carlisle, seriously, I am" Jasper said again but Carlisle still looked like he doubted it. I heard Jasper sigh when I noticed Carlisle was looking over at Edward.

"He's fine" Edward said and Jasper gave him a thankful look "confused and scared, but fine" and the look turned into a glare.

"Don't be scared love" I started to play with his hair and kissed his forehead "it'll be okey, you just have to let us help you"

"But I've said I'm fine" he said "I can feel people again" he added and the relief in his voice was huge.

"Just like that?" Carlisle asked and Jasper rolled his eyes

"Now there's something wrong with feeling fine?" he sat up and this time no one stopped him, he laid his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"No, it's not" I said, taking his hand "I'm so glad your okey, nothing else matters"

I looked over at Carlisle who looked like he was about to say something again and tried to convince him not to with my glance. He looked back at me, his golden eyes piercing through mine saying that we couldn't leave it like this but he didn't say anything. I smiled back at him saying thank you and he returned it, understanding. Of course I wasn't going to settle with that Jasper was better now and everything was fine, as long as we didn't know what it was it could as easily come back.  
There's was a lot of unanswered questions but one I was, and had always been, certain about, I'd do anything to protect my Jazz.


	8. Chapter 8

_More to come, enjoy!_****

JASPERS POV  


The letters floated around like a meaningless mix of syllables, dots and question marks instead of the magic words that the book actually was. I had trouble concentrate, it was unusual and I didn't enjoy it. Alice had gone hunting with Rosalie and Esme. She had asked me to come along but even though I had trouble admitting it, I was exhausted. So that left me, Emmett and Carlisle since Edward always was with Bella. The news were on, they always were nowadays so that we could get more information about the situation in Seattle. I used to watch it narrowly but now it just made me feel uncomfortable, I'd never been more out of shape.

"This is going to be so much fun!" I sighed but couldn't help but smile at my brothers enthusiasm when the reporter said it had been even worse lately which we all knew meant they had gotten up I numbers even more. I could feel him and his thrill helped mine get up a little but then there was Carlisle and all I could feel was worry. That wasn't unusual, he was the most compassionate man I knew who always put himself last, but that it was worry about me was unusual and it made me feel guilty, I shouldn't be his problem. As I thought about their feelings I got remained that I could do just that, feel them. It was such a relieve to have my power back and it somehow made me feel a lot calmer in this confused situation, being an empathy was my identity and without it I wasn't complete.

"Jasper?" Carlisle voice startled me a bit and I looked up from my book,

"Yes?"

"We could use some more fight training" he started and though I got were it was going I heard him out "I really don't wanna ask you because I care for you but if you claim you're fine then I will believe you, would you be up for another training session?"

"Thank you, father" I said, relieved that he was willing to let it go "of course, anything to protect our family"

"Great" Carlisle said "I'll have Edward to notify the wolves, we decided time last time, it's only fair it's their turn now" I nodded, that seemed reasonable and above that it'd take a little longer do decide and I might have all my energy back by then.

"I hope they'll volunteer as enemies this time" Emmett said in his usual careless voice "I'd sure like to put those little puppies in their place!" I sighed, he was still thinking about the time when we'd hunted Victoria. I thought that it'd actually been him who crossed the border but decided that it was better not to bug him.

"I'd like that too" I agreed instead because I actually would, I'd never really been comfortable around the wolves. Of course I would never really hurt any of them, except Maria's little pet, because it would upset Bella but having a training fight with one of them sounded really tempting.

"You have to stop opposing them" Carlisle said, pending his gaze between me and Emmett "it takes a lot of strength from their side to do this and we should be grateful"

"Well sure" Emmett offered "but wouldn't it be fun?"

"No" Carlisle said "this isn't a game, it's a matter of life and death"  
We all knew that already, I'd known it all along given my upbringing that it's not easy to survive.  
But somehow Carlisle's words made it hit me, there was a chance that we would lose. **Lose lives.**


	9. Chapter 9

_Switching POV's a lot, I know, but I thought that this would be an interesting side of it.  
Hope it's not confusing!_

**JACOBS POV **

I looked around and studied them, bloodsucker by bloodsucker. There was the idiot who had crossed the border, Emmett, I found out his name apparently was when the long, blonde one called for him. By his side were blondie, the one from their side who seemed to hate us just as much, if not more, than we hated them. Near the truck that had taken them all to this little session, stood Edward with Bella in his arms. I and everyone else in the pack and probably the vampires too, knew what I thought about them. It hurt so much to see Bella with him, you'd think it'd be something you'd get used too but it wasn't, she was choosing wrong and nothing could change her mind. But I would never stop trying, I thought to myself, even if it meant risking my own life for her safety. Then there was the super-annoying little pixie whose name I knew were Alice since Bella couldn't shut up about her and by her side the long blonde one, who I couldn't really hate as much for some reason. He was an incredible fighter and though I didn't want to admit it these training sessions probably were crucial for the turn out of the battle. There were two bloodsuckers left, the nauseatingly caring one who actually didn't seem to have a problem with us, or he was just very good at hiding it, and beside him his wife who I didn't really know anything about.

"Emmett!" the blonde one called out again "get over here" Emmett gave blondie a quick hug before he placed himself beside the blonde.

"Wanna have your ass kicked again bro?" Emmett said the blonde chuckled,

"I've won all fifteen times we trained this morning, remember?" Emmett looked like he was ready to fight but the blonde stopped him "and I don't wanna win again" he said with a smirk "I thought, given our conversation yesterday, that you might be up to act newborn if some of the wolves wanna try"

"Jasper!" the caring one said in the tone of what-are-you-doing? but I noticed that a lot of my brothers, mostly the young ones, thoughts were liking the idea.

"It's the best way of preparing them" the blonde, apparently Jasper told his leader or father since they called themselves a family or whatever.

"Paul would like to try" Edward said, translating for us "Rosalie it's fine" he added thought I didn't get why but then I understood. He could mess with our heads, read our thoughts and blondie were actually scared about Emmett fighting Paul, if I hadn't been in wolf-form I would've laughed.

"Great, bring it on!" an excited Emmett said, he by contrast to blondie didn't seem the least scared.

Paul walked down from the tiny hill where we were standing observing them and positioned himself opposite Emmett. He's thoughts were vivid and eager to begin the fight. _You know you can't actually hurt him_, I shot him a thought. _Oh, because that would upset Bella, poor little Jake_, Paul thought back and I tried my hardest to suppress the urge of fighting him myself, that would look pretty, me and a bloodsucker against my own brother. Paul didn't get that Bella was a sensitive subject, or he did and just liked to mess with me, that actually sounded a lot more like him.

Emmett and Paul stared at each other for some seconds and then Paul lashed out on him, though I understood, as I watched the battle in full force, Paul had underestimated Emmett and probably all the vampires, a lot. Emmett was winning this, big time, and I could hear Paul's furious thoughts when he could do nothing but surrender with Emmett's strong arms around his body.

"He wants to go again" Edward's calm voice explained and Emmett nodded,

"Bring it on dog"

"I can be a newborn too, if someone more wants to try" Jasper spoke up after having studied Paul and Emmett closely.

"Jasper.. " the caring one started to say again, like all he did was tutoring his kids, but the blonde cut him off,

"I'm okey Carlisle, it'll be okey"

"Quil would like to" Edward said and Jasper nodded.

As I watched the two fights going on, in which Paul now had the upper hand on Emmett but Quil didn't stand a chance against Jasper I thought about the battle. If the newborns were even stronger than these two monsters, how could we possibly win? I hoped that it was the blonde's experience that made him win over Quil in less than a few minutes and not that we were untrained.  
I looked over at Bella who talked to Edward and realized, _bitter_, that it was still worth it for her.


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter 10, enjoy! I know it's a little uneventful right now but it'll change pretty soon, spoilers' spoilers'. Anyway, read and review!_

**JASPERS POV**

The feature about the situation in Seattle we'd all been waiting for started and I could feel Alice tense a little in my lap. She shifted her head to the side a bit so I could see the screen too. It really didn't matter what the reporter looked like so I usually didn't care to do anything more than listen but this time they were on location and everybody was observing every inch of the background the reporter was standing in front of closely.

"It's a lot bigger mess than a human could make, soon they will notice too" Carlisle said "it's a wonder the Volturi haven't stepped in yet"

"Why bother? It just leaves more fun for us!" Emmett said. Sometimes I wished that I could be as trouble-free as he was, of course I knew he cared about Rosalie's wellbeing and the rest of us too, but for him this battle was exciting and fun, there was no doubt in his mind that we wouldn't win this.

I tried not to doubt it either because I knew though Alice wasn't an empath she could sense when I worried, as could I, of course, when she was which was all the time recently. I knew she worried about me and it made me feel bad, it was all better now, she shouldn't feel like that anymore. Though I would lie if I said what had happened didn't confuse me and Carlisle still shot me glances every now and then looking out for me. It was all gone, no headaches, no pain in the bite, though I had this feeling that I was being watched that had bothered me at first but then I realized that it must be Bella's since she knew Victoria was watching her every move.

"Jasper?" her beautiful voice took me back to reality "Jazzy, jazzy, jazz?" she sang in a little happy melody.

"Yes love?" I asked, stroking her hair and down her neck

"What were you thinking about?" she asked, turning her head piercing her golden eyes through mine.

"Well, I was actually feeling" I said, then turning to Bella who sat beside Edward on the stairs behind us "Bella, can I ask you something?" she looked surprised by my question and I couldn't blame her, we didn't talk much. Though I was a lot more used to her scent now I didn't want to risk anything.

"Yes, of course" she answered, looking quickly at Edward before meeting my glance.

"Do you feel this strange feeling about being watched?" I asked and she nodded immediately,

"Yes, is.. is that you?" she asked and I shook my head,

"Why would I do that?" I asked her, giving her a half smile since she seemed uncomfortable with the question.

"I don't know" she said "I guess I just tried to make myself believe that because I didn't wanna realize it was.. her"

"Why haven't you told me this?" Edward said, looking upset, gaze pending between me and Bella as if he was equally upset with both of us though I understood that he just was upset with me.

"I've only felt it for a little while" I said "and it's not my feeling to share since it well.. isn't mine" He rolled his eyes at me but left it with that, laying his arms around Bella and taking her upstairs.

Everyone took Edward and Bella leaving as the cue to that the battle-talk was over. Emmett took Rosalie's hand and led her out for a hunt, Carlisle went upstairs to his study having to do some paperwork and Esme disappeared to the kitchen. Though we didn't eat I knew it was her favorite place in the house, cleaning and fixing made her feel a little more human and like a mother. That left me and Alice in the living room and I pursed my lips against her neck kissing it softly, she turned around and our lips met.

"Jazzy, I know that you don't wanna talk about it" she started, staring at me and letting me drown in her beautiful eyes "but I can't not do it"  
I sighed as I knew she was referring to Maria and everything, I really did just want to leave if behind me as long as it didn't come back. I stroke back a strand of her hair behind her ear before giving her cheek a soft peck.

"It's okey darlin', I'm fine" I said and before she could something else I added "and I promise you that if I wasn't I would tell you" she looked at me for a little while, as if she was deciding whether she was going to believe me or not and then she leaned into my embrace.

"And if, god forbid, it would happen again, would you tell me?" she asked "Jasper, promise me" it was a demand, not a question and I nodded,

"I promise love"


End file.
